Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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