we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
