I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
