whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
