Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
