i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
