1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
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