to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
