i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
