i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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