it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
