Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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