After last night, I could never be a politician.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
