Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
