I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
