i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
