Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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