I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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