This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
