Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Randomize
