he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Two words: nipple clamps
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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