My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
