Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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