What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
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