I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
