I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Randomize
