You work out of a Hotel?
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
