how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
