Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
