I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
