You're my little dorito
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i dont even know how to be here
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
