I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Randomize