look no pants
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
