I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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