I hope mine doesn't look like that
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize