Swine flu. Run for my life!
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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