I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
