Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
