his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
