I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
