brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
