So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
