I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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