Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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