ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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