The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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