I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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