you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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