It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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