fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
