But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
