Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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