How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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