I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
