Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
